Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Big 10 Fans Say 'We Just Beat Up On Ourselves' for the Millionth Time

Chicago, IL- While standing in line at the grocery store on Southport BLVD, 25-year-old, Jeffrey Smoker said for the one millionth time "The Big 10 conference is a good conference, we just always beat up on each other."

Two isles down Bret Basanez, a 24-year-old, had just said the exact same quote for the 999,999th time, missing the benchmark by one. Upon learning he had missed the 1 mil mark, Basanez had this to say "I didn't realize that I say it all of the time until now. I guess its better than saying we don't have a good team."

"At least we rank 8th in party schools" yelled 22-year-old Johnny Stocco, a recent graduate of the University of Wisconsin. "Win or lose we still booze. And Ron Dane is the greatest running back of all time."

"The Big 10 conference is the best conference in the whole country" 23-year-old ,bag boy, Matthew Gutierrez sqeeked out. Guetierrez is from California and has no affiliation with any team in the Big 10 conference. He just lives in Chicago. "There is no other conference in the country that beats up on itself like the Big 10."

When asked what he's going to do now that he's hit the 1 millionth notch on the bed post, Smoker replied "Guess we'll just have to shoot for 2 million. This saying is becoming historic."


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